Monday Love/Hate: Central Park Running

This week marks the 2-year anniversary of my arrival in New York City.  Over the past 2 years, I've learned quite a bit about life in the city.  One very big aspect of living here, for me at least, is running in Central Park; it almost makes the otherwise rubbish-strewn and crazy-infested city livable.  Amanda and I have lived in East Harlem for about a year now, and while we found that our apartment is newer and the rent is cheaper than when we lived in Murray Hill, there's a seemingly inescapable bedlam that greets us when we hit the streets every day.  However, we are now a quick walk away from Central Park - and I take full advantage of that proximity.

Hitting the edge of the park after ambling through East Harlem feels like coming upon an oasis of serenity in an ocean of lunacy.  The smell of the fresh-cut grass, the blooming flowers, the shade given off by towering oaks; it's enough to make you forget that moments earlier, you were just harangued by someone digging through trash while you dodged piles of disregarded dog shit on the sidewalk.  It brings me such a sense of genuine joy and elation to get to the park to set out on a long run, but while I have racked up the miles crisscrossing most nooks and crannies of Central Park during my residency in NYC, I have taken note of a few things that rub me the wrong way.  The list below is a brief introduction to the unwritten rules that all runners, elites and couch-to-5K's alike, should adhere to:


1. When running on the path that's part of the Central Park roadways, stay to the right.  When a runner is approaching you from the opposite direction that has forcibly decided to not obey this advice, don't act like you have never encountered a human being before and decide that now is the appropriate time for a runners game of chicken.

Get out of the way (please)!

2. If you are one of the many New Yorkers and tourists who enjoy a nice, leisurely stroll around the reservoir - perfect.  All us runners ask is that you try not to occupy the entire path when you and your friends are casually making your way around the loop.  *Additional note - if you are going to be hogging the path by taking pictures of your loved ones with the reservoir and skyline in the background, it brings me great joy to try and photobomb you.
3. (This point is more applicable to New York Road Runners races, which frequently have more than 7,000 entrants.  But since most races are run in Central Park, I'll include it nonetheless) Spitting and launching snot rockets are inherent, albeit off-putting, aspects of running.  All we ask is that you give a quick glance to check if anyone is in your splash zone before you decide to jettison your bodily fluids in one direction or another.
4. Barefoot and minimalist running is all the craze currently, and this is pretty evident by taking a look at runners' feet in Central Park.  But if you decide to go for a run with no shoes on in the park and you happen to step in any of the numerous undesirable substances that New York has to offer, don't expect us shod runners to feel too sorry for you.  (More on my feelings about barefoot running next week!)
5. Lastly, please wear clothes.  I'm all for self-confidence and a positive body image, but if your coarse, thick back hair is reminiscent of a Chia pet, you should consider covering up.